Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
