Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So much Jack, so little girl.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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