I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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