I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
