just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
