I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
