have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
