Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
