I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
