It's just like the Real World with babies
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize