Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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