ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
