I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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