At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
