We're facebook friends in real life
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
