Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
