u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
