My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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