Christians are straight up FREAKS
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
