who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
