I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Drake has all the answers
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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