He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
