Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
