Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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