the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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