If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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