apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize