Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
