Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
