just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
