my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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