Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
