Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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