I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
