And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
