so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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