i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
