What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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