Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
