Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize