is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Randomize