i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
