I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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