Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
