I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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