He is such a slut. More and more my type.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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