You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
