After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Who died my cat blue again?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
