Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
