well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
