So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize