If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
