What a fucking waste of an outfit
If that was your dad, he is hot
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
