If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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