Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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