i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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