C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
