thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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