butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just threw up on my dentist
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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