My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
