East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
